P90X day one.  ugh.  didn’t even make it through the 58 minute workout.  but i really liked it!  i felt defeated by it, and now that i’ve had a few hours to contemplate my depression over the whole thing, i now feel excited to work and push myself until i CAN make it through the workout.

of course, that was one video.  tomorrow is a whole different video.  and the next day is another one.  this really is going to be awesome, but oh so challenging.

it’s not even that i got worn out this morning, or even super out of breath.  i just got tired of trying to figure out the exercises and keep going.  some of the exercises i just flat out could not do.  i just stood there and watched with, i’m sure, a totally dumbfounded look on my face.  at one point, i think i actually blurted out, “what is wrong with these people?”

well, whatever is wrong with them, it’s sure making their abs look like washboards.

i think i would have been disappointed if i could make it through the first day, ya know?  there’s no challenge in that, and clearly, i wanted a challenge.  i just have no MOJO for the challenge.  at my ripe old age of 38, i am facing some new emotions.  i can’t get excited about anything.  well, anything except cookies and “downton abbey”.

and, for more complaining:  i totally DO NOT want to go to work.  i’m so incredibly burnt out.  when i’m feeling like this about my life, i try to always think of my sister.  junior high english teacher.  what?  piles and piles of eternal grading.  a 2 year-old AND a 3 year-old, and they’re girls!  i’m assuming girls are more needy than boys.  but maybe not?  anyway, that’s a lot to juggle.  how does she not get burnt out?  well, she probably doesn’t even have the time to ponder whether she’s burnt out or not.  that’s the secret to being busy.  i’m busy, but i still think way too much.

i’m off to work, i guess.  ugh.


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