monday.

the HAPPINESS PROJECT awaits.  march is subtitled “aim higher”.  what a coincidence.  after having only done 3 out of 6 workouts on p90x last week, i started back up this morning with the 4th workout, yoga, thinking that i would just finish out the 1st week’s workouts, even if it took me two weeks.

i couldn’t even get through 30 minutes of the 1 1/12 HOURS of yoga.  and not because i was hurting or winded.  but i simply didn’t want to downward dog my big butt up in the air for another minute.  i gave up.

i certainly haven’t given up on complaining, so surely i have enough stick-to-it power to make it through these workouts.  i just don’t wanna.

on one hand ~ i did just do 25 minutes of fantastic yoga.  on any other day, i would have applauded myself and felt like a champion.  but since i’m doing this p90x thing, and i really want to get through the 90 days, and hopefully see results?  i just feel yucky.

i feel like there is no hope for me, when it comes to consistency.  i can’t consistently remember to do anything.

back to the HAPPINESS PROJECT.  the first line of the march chapter states: “happiness is a critical factor for work, and work is a critical factor for happiness.”  it goes on to talk about people’s relationships with working.  and i thought i would stop and ponder that, before i try to name my list of things to consider this month.

how do i feel about my job?

how do YOU feel about your job?  whoever is reading this, please respond if you can.

i feel cheated by my job.  i feel like i work all the time, and the outcome is a butt load of taxes i have to pay on april 15.  i feel like my priorities are forced to be work, work, work, when i want so many other things for my life.  i grieve in the mornings.  i get up as early as i possibly can, workout, blog, check e-mails and try to do some housework, because i know that by the time i get home tonight, probably around 8, i’ll be good for nothing.  the hub won’t get home until 9.  i know a lot of people who have schedules like this, and i hope they’re happy.  i’m just not.  i’m not meant to be a person who works morning, noon and night, with a messy house and takeout for dinner.  i’m just not that person.  and if i had a job that paid me well, i would at least be able to say i was making good money!  but i’m not!

i’ll quit complaining now.  i’m going to change my job status next year, so really, this is the last semester i will be feeling like this.

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One response to “monday.

  1. How do I feel about my job? So complicated (psst, check your email from me). What discourages me most is how easily derailed by others I am. A lousy student, a crabby colleague – these things have so much power over me. Spring is springing and so is the drama among these undergrads – it’s so powerful; I feel so bad for them as they discover just how awful each other can be. I try to turn myself into some kind of Buddha to be a calm center in their lives, but I just want to freak out myself most of the time. Spring also brings out the worst in my colleagues. They all get on high horses and express it in the most low-road manner they can so pretty soon there’s no one worthy of respect left. Yikes, sounds like I need some coffee!

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