aaaaaah. luscious saturday. decadent coffee in white robe morning. i actually have to get to work earlier than i normally do any day of the week, but it’s only for an hour or so. and anyway, saturday has a special magical effect. i’m sure the hub doesn’t feel that way ~ he has to work all day. poor thing.
i’m watching “something’s gotta give” this morning with my coffee. i just love diane keaton. and i love the idea of being a writer. lately, i don’t feel like i have any creativity in me. but i think everyone feels that way when they’ve been through some pretty hard times, and made it through to the easy life. i’m not saying my life is easy ~ the first year of marriage is always difficult, and my job has been so challenging this year. but i tell you ~ finally meeting my hub has been the single most difficult and practically impossible accomplishment ever. actually, it’s a miracle.
i feel like i should write a book about it. but i don’t want to give any advice. i want to tell the world that it’s a miracle, and you have to wait for the miracle to happen to you. for some, it happens right away, for others, it takes years ~ sometimes it takes too long and we give up and choose someone less worthy.
when i was in high school, i dated a guy who said he was going to get married at 27. i asked him how he could know for sure that he would even have someone in his life who he would want to marry. he said he would marry whoever it was that was in his life at that time. what in the hell? but guess what ~ he married this great girl, the perfect match for him in every way, and he was 27 years old.
in the end ~ that story is a total miracle. you can’t control when you meet someone and i wish i had waited to give my heart to only my hub. but if i had not fallen in love until 36 years old? what on earth would that have done to a poor big-hearted sap like me?
i guess i have a lot to say on this subject ~ and probably many conflicting, contradictory ideas. but now that i’m on the other side, so to speak, i find it fascinating that i feel sort of at a loss for interesting words. it turns out that i had lots of colorful material during all those years of heartbreak. ha! believe me, i’d rather just be vanilla, if that’s what marriage is doing to me. but i’m sure i’ll reinvent myself and find creativity in the midst of this contentment and joy. 🙂
here’s the absolute BEST thing i ever did: i gave up STRESS for LENT. it works, people. i’ve never given up anything for lent, and i sure as heck wasn’t going to give up something as spiritual as chocolate or red wine. (what are people thinking when they do something like that?) but there is amazing release in simply releasing this emotion of stress. not putting so much emphasis on things that do not deserve the time and energy. and grey hair.
april is coming, and i am loving my ideas for my HAPPINESS CHALLENGE list. i feel a rebirth, a new beginning in so many ways. it doesn’t really involve doing anything. i’m just focusing on being. being in the moment, enjoying everything, and definitely feeling no stress.