wow.  two posts in one day?  this might be what i always need to do every wednesday, just to make it through this strange and difficult day of every single week.  what sort of voodoo spell has been cast on this day?  remember wednesday from the adams family?  she was boring and depressive and gaunt and pale.  that’s TOTALLY wednesdays.

i really lost it during the last few hours of teaching.  i couldn’t do or say anything right.  and i felt like these kids were asking for me to practice FOR them and be talented FOR them.  and they almost seem upset and disappointed that i can’t just do all the work.  i find myself coming out of my skin, trying to install the right things into their hard drives while they’re just standing there, singing with no talent or feeling at all.  i’m at the piano, playing the accompaniment, the melody, singing the melody with them, tapping my foot, doing everything i possibly can for them to just GET IT.  and they’re standing there, helpless.  talentless.

this is not all of my students.  in fact, it’s only a few of them.  the rest of them are amazing.  but those few give me a run for my money.  i should charge them more money, for they are the reason that i need this pinot grigio to get through the week…

but, after all that complaining, i already feel a sense of peace and letting go regarding my nagging.  i feel like i’m already losing interest in the things that i have demanded of the hub.  i actually CAN believe it was that easy.  it was so easy giving up stress for Lent, and here it is again ~ some negative thing in my life, asking me to let it go.

this is really good stuff…