aaaaahhhhhhh.  complete day off.  no one around.  just me and audrey hepburn.  starting with the movie “sabrina” and then i’ll probably just make my way through my whole collection.  she is wearing the most beautiful “audrey style” dress ~ black with white polka dots.  and a black shirt underneath, to make her look “bookish”.  not working, glamour gal.  not working.

i aim to spend the whole day doing nothing.  i might venture out and buy the paint for my furniture refurbishing projects.  but we’ll see.

i also have all the ingredients for corn and potato chowder.  YESSSSS.  i don’t even have to go to the grocery store.

i’m not sure i have what you call clinical depression.  i think i suffer from acute artistic mood syndrome.  ha ha ha.  just made that up! and it’s so true.  swings up so high, and down so low.  actually, i don’t swing like a used to.  i just rock.  my butt’s too big to swing.  ha!

what it really feels like is ~ i get tired of being “on”.  being around people, being happy-go-lucky.  laughing, listening, giving, loving.  these are all such wonderful things about my life!  but i need solitude just as much.  i need it more than most people.  i don’t know why.  teaching is a form of performing, and performing, well, is performing.  both jobs ~ i have to be on.  it’s great.  i’m good at it.  i like being on.  but i really need the off times to balance my body out.

do other “depressed” people know this?  that they might require more down time than most people?  it’s not laziness.  it’s the deep desire to feed your artistic animal.  when i think of this day i have completely to myself, i say i’ll lie around on the couch watching audrey hepburn movies, but i’ll tell you what i’ll really do.  i’ll start cutting out a pattern.  i’ll blog!  i’ll buy that paint.  i’ll cook and bake.  i’ll do so much today, to feed my artistic brain.

the long and short of it ~ if i don’t feed it ~ i get depressed.  this is important info for other artists to know!  do they already know this?  am i the last to figure it out?

2 thoughts on “tuesday.

  1. My friend Laurel knows that if she doesn’t walk every morning, early, that a black cloud will have over her head all day long. This is her fix and I think it sounds like you have figured out what yours is. I have never been depressed but I know if I drag out a different table runner then I feel like cleaning my whole house – it spurs me on. Sometimes those little things are all it takes to motivate and to give us happiness. pt

  2. Girl, I need you to tell me how to make this corn chowder you talk of. I have corn and potatoes. GO. Also, do you want a watermelon? We have two and I’m not even sure if we’ll eat one of them. AND, your day sounds wonderful.

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