aaaaahhhhhhh. complete day off. no one around. just me and audrey hepburn. starting with the movie “sabrina” and then i’ll probably just make my way through my whole collection. she is wearing the most beautiful “audrey style” dress ~ black with white polka dots. and a black shirt underneath, to make her look “bookish”. not working, glamour gal. not working.
i aim to spend the whole day doing nothing. i might venture out and buy the paint for my furniture refurbishing projects. but we’ll see.
i also have all the ingredients for corn and potato chowder. YESSSSS. i don’t even have to go to the grocery store.
i’m not sure i have what you call clinical depression. i think i suffer from acute artistic mood syndrome. ha ha ha. just made that up! and it’s so true. swings up so high, and down so low. actually, i don’t swing like a used to. i just rock. my butt’s too big to swing. ha!
what it really feels like is ~ i get tired of being “on”. being around people, being happy-go-lucky. laughing, listening, giving, loving. these are all such wonderful things about my life! but i need solitude just as much. i need it more than most people. i don’t know why. teaching is a form of performing, and performing, well, is performing. both jobs ~ i have to be on. it’s great. i’m good at it. i like being on. but i really need the off times to balance my body out.
do other “depressed” people know this? that they might require more down time than most people? it’s not laziness. it’s the deep desire to feed your artistic animal. when i think of this day i have completely to myself, i say i’ll lie around on the couch watching audrey hepburn movies, but i’ll tell you what i’ll really do. i’ll start cutting out a pattern. i’ll blog! i’ll buy that paint. i’ll cook and bake. i’ll do so much today, to feed my artistic brain.
the long and short of it ~ if i don’t feed it ~ i get depressed. this is important info for other artists to know! do they already know this? am i the last to figure it out?