what a weekend.  when i wasn’t working, the hub and i were fighting.  we were only fighting because we are both exhausted.  no days off.  but the work week has started again and it seems normal that we will be busy during the week.  it’s when the weekend comes that we get really angry.

but this is the life of the musician.  why aren’t we used to it yet?  especially me!  i have been living this life since my first “gig” with jennifer penserum at the capitol plaza in jefferson city.  how old were we, jennifer, when we started gigging?  there’s this fantastic violist in town, named nell, and every time i see her at a gig, wearing yet another black head-to-toe gig uniform, i always call her a “gig whore”.  the other day, the saxophone/oboe/recorder/you name it he can play it teacher across from my studio, came out of his room in a tux.  it was a tuesday.  it was around 2:00.  i laughed and called him a gig whore also.  and he said the tux was from a morning concert, and he had to change into lederhosen for his evening gig ~ a polka band.  ha ha haaaaaa.

so these guys never sleep.  they never have a day off.  they seem to be handling it better than i am.  and aren’t i supposed to be thrilled to be getting this much work, in such hard economic times?  aren’t i looking a gift horse in the  mouth?

i am reading a book called TALENT IS NEVER ENOUGH by john c. maxwell.  it’s making me feel even worse about my apathy.  it said something to the affect of, “if you feel like you’ve made it, and you start to relax, you’re in trouble”.  humph.  back to the practice room.

and then i opened a book i just bought ~ the letters of julia child and avis devoto.  it immediately addresses the fact that julia child was sometimes discouraged, insecure, “gnawed by doubts” and dealt with the pain of moving around a lot.  it’s good to know that these feelings are natural, even for a super-hero like julia child.

i also love her writing.  it is so elegant and uses so many beautiful words.  everything is typed up in this book, of course, and maybe she typed her letters.  but if she wrote them by hand, i’m sure her penmanship was beautiful.  i wish i could write like her.  i love words and would love to use lots of different ones in this blog.  but mostly i just use words like, “yummy” and “humph”.  i am not a lady.  i can’t help it.  i was not born that way.  but i love julia child for it.

i’m sure i will quote this book in the next few months, as i pour over every single letter they write to each other.  i hope it brings some artistic brightness to you all…

and later on that day———————

i just created a new healthy dip!  if someone has already thought of this, sorry.  i’ve never heard of it and i’m wondering why no one has thought of it!


i had three red new potatoes and just microwaved them until soft.

i chopped them up and threw them in the food processor with the following:

soft tofu (if you like mayo or creamy dips, RUN to the store and get soft tofu.  you can do anything creamy with this protein healthy substance!!!)

garlic, fresh dill, cannelini beans, just a dash of olive oil, kosher salt, a little veggie better than bouillon, and TONS of fresh ground black pepper.

it tastes like mashed potatoes!!!!  but you’re getting protein and fiber and even some veggies, if potatoes count!!!  and in my world, THEY COUNT!

3 thoughts on “monday.

  1. Julie Andrews – she is the ‘lady’ in my life. I love the way she speaks, and doesn’t just rush into words. She just epitimizes what I think a lady should be. And of course, what I’m not. But, my DNA is what makes me, me and so I will run with it knowing that God loves variety. My prayers are with you and Sam hoping you find a peaceful place in your home and marriage. I saw Joel Osteen and Oprah while I was channel surfing this week-end and he says whatever follows “I am” is what you become. You know, I am tired, I am bored, I am fun. We sort of set ourselves up for our future, don’t we? Interesting. Love you, pt

  2. I know this feeling, and I don’t gig as much as you. Last weekend, we gigged in Sedalia. I was so irritated that it stole my Saturday! How dare it, you know? Why can’t gigs be mid-week? Oh yeah, I couldn’t play them then, bc I’d be at work. Oy!

    I’m off the next several weekends, as wedding season comes to a halt. I’m relieved, but I know sooner or later I’ll be thinking, I’m bored! I’m broke! I’m lonely for those who make music with me!

    Maybe I should go buy a new gig whore outfit. Retail therapy.

    I joined JCSO and have taken on a few students. I hope that it doesn’t start exhausting me and infuriating me…:) I feel kind of wild-eyed, like I could try to back out and run screaming at any moment. I’m not there, but I know the feeling.

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