this isn’t really one of those fancy, professional, cooking blogs, where you can search for ideas for dinner from a side bar with categories, like appetizers, or desserts.  however, i hope it inspires you (whoever is reading this) to eat a little healthier, enjoy your food, think outside the box, or just remember the basics.

sometimes, though, i just need a place to get my thoughts out.  i started this blog years ago, aptly naming it PIXYSCONFESSIONAL, because my nickname has been pixy for a million years, and, i had a lot on my mind.  it’s been seven years since my first marriage ended, and when i moved to kansas city, i started a blog to unscramble some of the confusion i had ruminating up there in my otherwise-very-simple brain.

here it is ~ 4 apartments later, a wonderful new hub and wedding, and now i am sitting at my kitchen table in a loft in the heart of the crossroads district, a completely different person, in so many ways.

changing is not really all that difficult for the person who is doing all the changing.  it’s much more difficult for the people around you to understand.  you do know that no one else can hear your thoughts, don’t you?  i’m actually so glad that’s true, for the most part.  but how can anyone really know where you’re coming from when they can’t really understand fully what you are thinking?

i’m on this interesting little path to forty, wondering which road of thought to put first:  the one of complete peace and bliss?  the one of responsibility and duty?  the self-centered road?  or the road where you numb all thought completely and just medicate blindly through life?

it seems like the obvious choice would be the first one:  peace and bliss.  but won’t i be lonely if i choose that one?  just me and god staring at each other at a party that everyone RSVP’d YES to, but no one came?

the road of responsibility and duty ~ done.  i really think i already do that.  don’t i?  true artists always feel inadequate when it comes to measuring their responsible self.  i know i do.  (for instance ~ is it responsible that i’m spending the evening, blogging about all this?  shouldn’t i be having children and mowing a lawn or something?)

the latter choice ~ the self-medicating one ~ well, i see it every day.  it’s so hard to see.  of course, i’m also jealous.  i’d love to feel like a robot some days, and shut off the psycho babble.  but isn’t that psycho babble just the rumblings of what we all feel, more or less?

as usual, i am also watching a movie while writing this ~ tonight i’ve chosen EAT, PRAY, LOVE.  fitting, no?

and earlier in the day, i made bow tie pasta, which i have dredged in a bit of flour and fried in olive oil, topping the crispy pasta with parmesan.  i’m dipping it in the most delicious pomodoro sauce.

want the recipe?

of COURSE YOU DO!

this is giada’s basic tomato sauce, with some additions…

2 small yellow onions

4 cloves garlic

4 stalks celery

2-3 large carrots

dice and sautee for 10 minutes in 1/2 cup olive oil.

add three 28-ounce cans san marzano tomatoes, and some tomato paste.  

rinse the cans out with a tiny bit of water and add that.

add some salt and pepper, crushed red pepper, bay leaves, some stems of basil, the rind of parmesan, if you have it, and half a sweet potato, diced.

simmer on the stove for as long as you are around.  an hour?  3 hours?  it just gets better and better.  

so delicious.  now go out and buy an emersion blender.  you need one in your kitchen.  and you can get one at kohl’s for super cheap!  blend up some of those chunks of veggies and let it all start to marry.  

oh, and at the end, add a huge handful of chopped basil, along with a little more salt and pepper, to taste, and maybe a glug of olive oil, just to make it richer.  

have i gone crazy?  i’m so tired of asking that.  if being crazy means i’m fun and alive and happy and a great artist, then why do i care?