soul searching.

there’s not a ton of really interesting cooking or baking going on around here, so i felt like posting some thoughts instead.

this week is the 2nd week of advent, which i hear is the week to focus on peace.  last week was hope, and all i did was hope for peace, so here we are!

i’ve been working to add meditation and mindfulness to my life this week, and it’s a slow process, but i hope it’s one that will last with me forever.  i tend to get a little overwhelmed in the mornings.  there’s so much i could, and want, to do.  and i am usually moderately productive.  but this week i’m adding meditation, and i want to see how that impacts my scattered mind.  it feels like a ticker tape is running across my forehead.  so many ways i could use my down time ~ i don’t even know where to begin!

there’s a great app a wonderful student introduced me to  ~ called HEADSPACE.  it’s a really cute app that helps you meditate.  i’m going to try it every day for a week and see how i feel.

at the same time, a question has been brought to my attention twice this week.  spooky enough for me to sit up and really listen.

the question is: “what are you clinging to that’s holding you back?”

first, it was my amazing and incredible priest, mother megan (hi mother megan!) who posed this question during her sermon last sunday, and it really struck me.  she said, “what are you clinging to that’s holding you back from being who God wants you to be?”

at first, i thought, “nothing! i’ve been working really hard to move forward emotionally, physically and spiritually.” and i did a little dance in my seat, celebrating my freedom.

but then, this morning at the gym, i weighed.  and after all this working out, the scale just won’t budge.  there are even a few extra pounds.  it’s okay ~ i see the changes in my body, i feel amazing, and i’m not really connected to that number. but i know for sure that i shouldn’t weigh that amount, period.  no denying it.  i was discussing this with a great friend who is studying to become a minister at unity (hi warren!) and he said the same thing ~ “what are you holding on to?”

WOAH.  maybe i am holding on to something after all.

so, i have some soul searching to do.






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