yet. another. detox.

today is day #2 of a detox i ordered from the “green smoothie girl”.  have you heard of her?  check her out!  www.greensmoothiegirl.com

she is lovely, and i’ve been following her inspiring, informative blog.  she had a promotional sale on her 3-day detox miracle, so i bought it!  it’s only $20, and you get these little packets ~ enough for 3 days ~ that are full of whole foods, green, superfoods, and packed with protein.  you drink these shakes several times a day, drink LOTS of water, and the average weight loss is 5 pounds.  you also get a great detox of the organs, gain more energy, and that thing called “brain-fog” vanishes.  great sleep, less joint pain, better attitude, new outlook on life.  and if you’re trying to get off caffeine ~ this is a great way to do it.

so, like i said before, i’m on day #2.

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and by the way, i keep trying these detoxes because my weight just will not budge.  no matter what i do.  so i keep hoping these detoxing kick-starts could help.

here’s what i’ve learned:

i’m hardly ever actually hungry.  i’ve misused that word my entire life.  the next time i say i’m hungry, i think i’ll try to think of more accurate words, like, i’m bored, lonely, sad, or a spoiled-rotten baby who needs something pretty dangled in front of me or i’ll cry.

i’m not being hard on myself ~ i think most of us are probably like this.  we’re human.  we can’t help it.  but seriously, my eating probably has only 10% to do with actually being hungry.

i know this now because i haven’t had one hunger pang on this detox.  instead, i’ve had very intense feelings of panic, fear, deprivation, sadness, depression, anxiety, and worst of all, PITY.

i’ve looked out at my container garden many times, whimpering.  and the thought that there are two perfectly ripened honey crisp apples downstairs in my kitchen?  completely overwhelming.

i am utterly panic-stricken when dinner time comes around and i can’t have something sexy for dinner.  i use the word “sexy” because i’m not talking about your average comfort food.  i’m not craving mac n cheese ~ i’m literally craving a kale salad with walnuts and feta cheese.  oh my gosh, that sounds so good.

but the whole point of this detox is to get to the bottom of those emotions that have defined my eating habits, and in turn, have kept me from seeing weight-loss results. (i think they’re keeping me from achieving a lot of goals in my life)

and i think that’s why i just simply cannot eat dinner without a sexy glass of wine.  i need to feel treated.  i need to feel like i’m alive and my day isn’t boring or mundane.  but what’s wrong with boring?  wouldn’t a busy girl like me welcome some boredom in my life? and why can’t i find joy in other things, like exercise, the beautiful weather, reading, my deck?

and that’s why i’m doing this little detox ~ to start the process of just loving my life as-is. without needing all the bells and whistles of fabulous food every meal, accompanied by fabulous italian reds and crisp summery whites.  and before i discovered wine, that would have been dessert.

i don’t know if i’ll ever achieve this, because, well, i’m a serious foodie (OBVIOUSLY), but if i can just get a little more balanced and open up my mind to other joys, i think i might actually see some results.

well, that’s my rant for today.  check out this 3-day detox.  it ain’t easy, but i think it might end up being really special in the end…

 

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