diet shut-down.

it’s confession time.  i’m ready to make a change and i feel like sharing it with you all…

i’ve been on this roller coaster ride of trying new diets, new workouts, eliminations, cleanses, and detoxes ~ for who knows how long now.  it’s not really a yo-yo dieter situation, because i basically have not lost one single pound during any of it.  okay, well maybe i have fluctuated 5 pounds here and there.

and i’m not saying that none of it works.  i’m just saying that most of it doesn’t work for me.  currently, i’m on an app where you track your food and exercise.  kinda like weight watchers, but something else.  and i tell you, for some reason, it has been the WORST thing for me.  i have only gained weight.  i have only felt like an extreme failure every single day.  i was so much better off when i was just living my life.

i am constantly trying to cure my digestive issues, and everything that spirals out of that problem.  constantly.  it is an on-going, never-ending struggle, and no matter how extreme i have gotten, i have never seen a difference.  the most potent probiotics and pre-biotics don’t seem to make even a dent.

i have been vegan, vegetarian, pescetarian, paleo, keto, gluten-free, grain-free, dairy-free, alcohol-free, caffeine-free, sugar-free.

i have run, i have done yoga, i have taken HIIT and weight-training boot camps, i have done pilates at home.  and i’ve liked it all, but haven’t been able to stick with anything long enough to see a difference in my body.

i have tried lots and lots of products on the market to help fade my sunspots ~ even laser.  i know they’re not going to disappear completely, but just a little fading would be really nice.

i’m tired of this rat race with no results.

it’s time for me to break the cycle and cut loose.  (“everybody cut, everybody cut”…sing it with me!)

here’s what i know for sure:

  1. i feel amazing when i drink tons of water, eat fresh fruits, vegetables, lean and clean meats and fish, nuts, seeds, green tea, dark chocolate, and red wine.  everything else is questionable.
  2. i feel amazing when i drink a green juice every morning.  this is the one i absolutely love:  you just scoop a little into a glass of water, stir, and drink.  the hub is addicted.
  3. i am always going to be be a coffee snob, but i am also now obsessed with green tea.  especially genmaicha and sencha green tea.  the best place to get tea is an asian market.  it’s so inexpensive and has an amazing flavor.  once you find your fave, you can just order it on amazon till the cows come home.
  4. i feel trapped in the midwest, with all the driving everywhere, the unhealthy eating and drinking habits at every turn.  i mean, i live so close to GATES BBQ that i can smell it from my front door.  ugh ~ so good.  but, i live here and i need to make it work.  i need to stop saying it would be so much easier if i lived in italy or california.  i live in kansas city and i love it here.  i need to stop making excuses and make my own healthy empire right here and now.
  5. my body has revealed to me in the last 5 years that it is going to keep weight on if it damn-well pleases.  i have tried everything and nothing has worked, so i’m going to take “losing weight” off my list of desires, and replace it with the other desires i have:  to feel great, to digest well, to be healthy inside and out, to glow from a healthy lifestyle, to be strong physically, mentally and spiritually, and to be balanced in this crazy life of mine.
  6. moving combats depression.  pure and simple.  the more i move, the better i feel.  i love to dance.  love it.

here’s what i’m NOT going to do anymore:

i’m ready to give up on the quest to be thin again.

i’m going to stop monitoring every morsel that goes into my body.  all that does is make me want to eat unhealthy things.  i was eating an incredibly healthy diet before i tried to lose any weight, and i felt great and was happy.  so i’m going back.

i’m going to stop weighing.

i’m going to stop logging my meals and exercise.

i’m going to stop stressing and worrying and looking at my body in the mirror in disgust.

i’m going to stop dreading summer clothes ~ the MOO-MOO IS BACK!!!

i’m going to stop eating crap at restaurants just because my friends want to go to unhealthy eating establishments.  surely there’s a salad on the menu!

i genuinely believe i am doing harm by stressing myself out with this current mindset, and i’m done, folks.

does anyone else feel this way out there?

i’ve got some beautiful new recipes to share with you ~ more soon!!!



3 thoughts on “diet shut-down.

  1. Proud of you, Sarah, for even trying. Suggestion: neem toothpaste and rinse, especially on singing days.

    It might be a wicked stubborn internal viral/other thing that causes you to retain weight to sustain itself. Life-forms live in us and on us, some beneficial, and some not so much. We simply need to be aware that it is possible for something like this to happen and take over our bodies blocking our natural functions of the fat burning digestion elimination autoimmune functions like constantly getting infections in your sinuses in your ears Etc. I’ve done a lot of research on it and perhaps I can just chat online about it to you but I’ve learned so many ways to fight sinus infections without antibiotics things like that and I’m so proud of you that you are willing to be so transparent in this fight for your health and that you are eating clean organic pure water detoxing sometimes I found the simple things are the most effective. Yes, I know it sounds bizarre, but hear me out. I’ven gaining weight, but not eating much, and internal movements have been few and FAAR between. I recently had a colonoscopy where I had to take copious amounts of propylene glycol and potassium in a fluid solution to cleanse and prepare for it.
    I found afterwards, after my recovery I felt better than I had in many days and the things that I had been taking to help my health began to work more efficiently.
    Hooray. My voice rejoiced; my diaphragm felt liberated! Just yesterday I tried a digestive enzyme that I’ve never tried before. I had a sample of it. It was called Devigest; d e v i g e s t. Devigest..have you tried it? I had success for the first time in a long time. I know, in my case, scleroderma has made my lining thick, but this stuff helped peristalsis happen., I feel lighter on the inside!! Flexibility increased.

    Product line: Arthur Andrew Medical. Start over. Research Neprinol. Get a sample. Great for stubborn sinus pressure and inflammation. Anyway, just a few thoughts. Less (2 or 3 key supplements) is definitely more. Simplicity’s the key.

    1. Hi Tanya!! Bless you for your amazing comment! I had the same lightness after my colonoscopy “cleanse”!! I thought “man, I don’t even need the colonoscopy after this” ~ ha ha ha. Also, I’ve been looking for a digestive enzyme, so I’m going to give yours a try! Even though I’ve tried a lot of things, I’ve never really been super consistent. So that’s my next endeavor. I don’t know how I’m going to do it ~ I’m just going to trust that God will help me! Thank you so much, Tanya!! Please keep sharing your journey with us!

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