Have you ever felt guilty for someone else’s nasty behavior? That doesn’t make a lick of sense, but I think it happens more often than we realize.
Let me set the scene. A person we love misbehaves badly. We could stop their behavior by saying something, but we don’t know what to say. And would they hear it anyway?
Then we watch the downward spiral of that person, who is clearly hurting, but also hurting others, even you. Picture the dog who tries to bite you because he’s injured. It’s just an instinct, but hopefully, we have evolved past the mentality of a dog. Or maybe not!
It just feels so horrible to watch someone unknowingly burn “love” bridges right in front of your face, even if they are literally burning the very bridge you are standing on. And then, while you are slipping and falling off that bridge and trying to save yourself from plummeting into the water, you start feeling guilty for not doing better to fix the problem. For both of your sakes!
I pride myself in being a good communicator, but oftentimes, I air on the side of too nice. (Remind me to write that book about my first marriage…) That’s probably a good thing in most situations, because we hardly ever know the whole story of what that person is going through ~ that terrible childhood or wrong-doing that caused him/her to be a total jerk.
But then again, it’s just not ever okay to behave badly, even if you have the best excuse in the world.
As I get older, I find myself being a “whistle blower”. Which sometimes feels like “horning in” when it’s none of my business. But I absolutely and vehemently HATE it when people are victims, and I almost can’t control myself. I don’t mind it half as much when it’s me, but when I see another person being unfairly yelled at, I lose my mind.
I guess I don’t really have a point to all this. I just wish we could respect each other more, and care about well-being of others more.
You all know this already, but just in case ~ being thoughtful and considerate of others is not weak, and I do think we have time to do it. We just might have to slow down a bit, that’s all.
OFF SOAP BOX NOW. SORRY/NOT SORRY.